Felix Warrick and his guide to pranking the world!
by DankMemeEdgeQueen
Summary: ABANDONED MIGHT CONTINUE IN THE FUTURE PROBABLY NOT
1. Chapter 1

**A/N This might turn out to be complete and utter shite, however I want to try and actually write a story. This will be shit, I warn you, I am new to this fanfiction writing, please bear with me. Flame me all you want, I like the burn!**

 **Also, I have no Beta.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my Oc. But yeah, I'm not Jk Rowling, so Harry Potter and his buddies do not belong to me. T-T**

Felix woke up at the crack of dawn, before zooming out of bed. Today he was going back to Hogwarts! He'd see George, Fred, Lee, and probably get detention within a hour! Turning to look at the sun he frowned, where the hell was it? A quick look at his clock made him realise that he was 3 hours early. It was in fact, 5am, not eight like he had anticipated.

Sighing, he moved to his already packed trunk, looking for his Care of Magical Creatures book. _Might as well read, got nothing better to do.. Oh how the mighty have fallen._ Although he enjoyed Care of Magical Creatures, Felix hated reading, he never could sit down long enough to finish a page, yet here he was attempting to read for three hours.

Six pages in he stopped, his brain muddling words and leaving him confused. Shaking his head slightly he grinned as a thought popped into his head. _I could always prank little Jason!_ With a new found energy he sprung into action, careful to chose the correct potions _Don't want another mishap! Nearly got expelled for that, ah well, s'not like Snape didn't deserve it._ Laughing slightly at the memory of a pink Snape, Felix slunk down the hallway of the manor, and into his brothers room.

Jason was sleeping like a rock, his body thrown across the bed, mouth slightly open. _Makes it easier, I suppose._ Opening the potion in his left hand, he tipped it down Jason's throat, half expecting him to start choking to death. Satisfied that Jason wouldn't die if left unattended, he turned on his heels, barely covering up his laughter. Once he was back in his room he glanced at the clock.

5:58am. _Dammit_ Felix walked over to his wardrobe, picking out a simple robe and cape. _S'not called a cape, but it looks like one.. What is it called?_ Satisfied with his clothing choice, he stared at his reflection. His blue eyes stared right back at him. He was slightly short for his age, with dirty blond hair. _Ugh I bare some sort of resemblance to the ferret of Slytherin._ Disgusted, Felix layed back down on his bed, willing to just doze the next two hours away. He had only just dozed off when he heard a shriek from the other room.

"FELIX! IM GREEN!" _Oh, just Jason_ Closing his eyes once more, he tried to block out the shouts of his brother; so annoying! The fates, however, were not on his side as his door was thrown open, revealing a green child. Oh, and a wand.

"GREEN! I'M BLOODY GREEN!" Felix cracked a smile and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm not colour blind, you know?" Almost frothing from the mouth, Jason stormed over to him and crossed his arms over his chest.

"We are going to Hogwarts in less than an hour, and I am green!" _Oh, I overslept. Huh.._

Completely ignoring his brother, Felix got up and picked his trunk up before walking downstairs and into the kitchen, all the while dodging his brothers attempts at tripping him. Elliot and Sam who were already eating their breakfast, snorted at the state of their brother before going back to their food. Both his parents were at the table also eating, and looked over at him for an explanation.

"He's a mutated umpalumpa?" It was more of a question than a answer. His dad -hugh- snorted, looking away from his son. His mother - Ellie- just sighed and walked over to her son, muttering _Finite._ She then picked something out of her pocket and threw it at Felix, who caught it with no trouble. _OH MY WAND! Huh, forgot about this_ His wand was Ebony, twelve inches long and the core was from a Phoenix.

"So, are we meeting up with the Weasley's?" His Dad nodded.

The next half an hour was spent in moderate peace, only broken by Felix's occasional pun or joke.

 **There you go! Tried to make it long, but it's probably short. Also please do correct me and offer criticism, I do want to get better :D New chapter probably won't be out for a week or so, but it could also be out tomorrow. I might skip the next hour and dive straight into the train drive.**

 **Also don't worry about the huge number of Ocs. Only Felix and Jason will be in Hogwarts, and only Felix will be a main character!**


	2. Wands and Extendable Ears

**A week indeed. Well, sorry for that but real life caught me unaware, but here I am now, posting an update. I am not sure if I'll have another chapter done soon, but I will finish this, hopefully by the end of 2017.**

 **I am also aware that my Fred and George are 'smarter' in this, but I think that although they never studied much, they did experiment and so they should, at the very least, ace both the Potions, Transfiguration and Charms O.W.L.S. Also, I can't write them very well and so they're sorta AU, hopefully as time goes by I will begin to become better at writing them.**

 **I have no beta so there is bound to be a fuck ton of mistakes, please do tell me what they are and how I can improve :)**

 **Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, I wouldn't have killed Fred :( I am also making nothing off of this fanfiction.**

 **IMPORTANT NOTE**

 **This is the O.W.L.S grade bands in my story.**

 ** _O- 100 - 90_**

 ** _EE- 89- 75_**

 ** _E – 74 – 65_**

 ** _AA- 64- 55_**

 ** _A-_** ** _54- 45_**

 ** _P- 44- 38_**

 ** _D – 37 – 30_**

 ** _T – 39 or under_**

 ** _Last time_**

 _Completely ignoring his brother, Felix got up and picked his trunk up before walking downstairs and into the kitchen, all the while dodging his brothers attempts at tripping him. Elliot and Sam who were already eating their breakfast, snorted at the state of their brother before going back to their food. Both his parents were at the table also eating, and looked over at him for an explanation._

 _"He's a mutated umpalumpa?" It was more of a question than an answer. His dad -Hugh- snorted, looking away from his son. His mother - Ellie- just sighed and walked over to her son, muttering_ _Finite._ _She then picked something out of her pocket and threw it at Felix, who caught it with no trouble._ _OH MY WAND! Huh, forgot about this_ _His wand was Ebony, twelve inches long and the core was from a Phoenix._

 _"So, are we meeting up with the Weasley's?" His Dad nodded._

 _The next half an hour was spent in moderate peace, only broken by Felix's occasional pun or joke._

Felix bounded onto the train, eager to finally get back to the Castle, although the loved his family and liked spending time with them, he also adored magic. The single wizard peered through a carriage door, checking to see if he could claim it for himself. Unsurprisingly, it was full, as well as the next six.

Eventually he found an empty carriage and lounged on the seat. Like usual, the Weasley's were late so Felix had decided to gather them a spot for when they did arrive. He didn't have to wait long, as the 'Famous Weasley Duo' and Lee walked in at around the same time the train began to move.

"Hey, how was your summer?" Felix asked them as a greeting. The twins grinned before taking out a wand? And a pair of ears.

"Prepare to be amazed"

"Dear friend of ours"

"We present to you"

"The fake wand, and extendable ears!" With a flourish Fred thrusted them towards him. As soon as he touched the wand it turned into a chicken. Laughing, Felix picked up the 'Extendable Ears' and looked at them. They looked like regular ears, nothing fancy had been added and they certainly didn't look stretchy or 'Extendable'. However, Felix knew that Fred and George wouldn't waste his – or their own – making a useless product, unless that was the function of said product. _They spend way too much time perfecting and experimenting with these products... So do I to be honest._ Looking back at them he smirked slightly.

"So, how do these ears work then? Nice work with the wand by the way, but you'll probably be wanting to stop the instant Transfiguration, I think I know a charm that might work." The twins grinned and Fred spoke once more.

"Yeah the Transfiguration wouldn't work when we used _mora_ to delay it."

"Did you use _Moram mutationem_?" Lee asked from where he was sitting, petting his tarantula, his interest peaked. George grinned again before turning to his trunk and muttering _Wingardium Levoisa_. He pulled out a fake wand before directing it onto the table and towards Lee, who charmed it and picked it up. One, two, three, four, five, six. The wand finally became a chicken, which Lee threw towards Fred and George.

"Sooooo, Extendable ears?"

"As you have noticed" This was George.

"They do not extend on their own."

"They are connected by some string" Fred picked one ear up and left the other on the table, showing the string.

"That we have charmed to"

"Drum roll please"

"Act as if they were ears" They both dramatically finished this sentence, throwing their arms out and bowing. Lee and Felix snickered before clapping.

"How wonderful!" Lee whooped.

"Simply marvelous!" Felix joined in. They continued to speak about things relating to the twins Experimental habits, or who they would be pranking this year until the world around them started to become dark.

"So, what did you get for your O.W.L.S then?" Lee was the most studious of them and so it wasn't a surprise that he'd be interested to see how they others fared. "I passed all my O.W.L.S and got 4 Os in Transfiguration, Potions, Ancient Runes and Herbology. Got an EE in Charms and CoMC. I got Regular Es in everything else, bar History of Magic which I got an A in" _Damn that's impressive, I didn't even finish the first question of the History exam_

"I got an O in Transfiguration, DADA, CoMC, charms and Potions. I don't think the Care of Magical Creatures O really counts, since I'm a beastspeaker and all, ah well, I got an E in Ancient runes and a AA in Herbology. I got an A in Astronomy and failed History of Magic and Arithmacy." Felix thought he did really well, all things considering. He knew he would at least get an E in Transfiguration, Charms and Potions, but to get five Os was pretty fucking amazing, in his opinion.

" Os in Potions, Transfiguration, Charms and CoMC." This was Fred

" Os in Ancient Runes, Charms, Potions and Transfiguration."

"We both got an EE in DADA and a A in Herbology"

"I got a E for Ancient Runes" Fred

"I got an AA for CoMC"

"Seems as if we will be stuck with the Famous Weasley Duo for another two years" Felix sighed with fake dismay.

 **ANNNND THAT IS THAT!**

 **Please do review, fave and follow!**

 **Thanks for reading**

 **LightningGrim Out**


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